Invincible: A Defense of YA and Children’s Lit

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adult lit, children's lit, happiness, john green, life, literature, reading, Romance, tfios, YA

Ruth Graham: “‘Young adult’ fiction is for weepy teenagers. Let’s stop pretending that it’s respectable literature for grown-ups.”

I’m tired of adults telling teenagers that they aren’t smart.” (John Green, author of ‘The Fault in our Stars’)

The release of TFIOS in theatres last week has opened a floodgate of hate against “sick-lit” and “YA romances” from adults who seem to think that their mature, sophisticated thinking abilities put them above the crowds of mindless hormone-driven teenagers. It’s as if these highly educated individuals don’t think that teenagers are smart enough to understand reality, or mature enough to experience real pain or real love. But what are real feelings supposed to be? Any experience of “love, relationships, sex, trauma, happiness, and all the rest of — you know, life —” is an equally valid learning experience. Is the pain of growing up, of loss, not all the same to every human of every age? Are we really going to make a gross generalization that adult lit is automatically more nuanced and intellectual than “children’s books”? There are many complex YA books and many ridiculous adult novels, and vice versa. Last I checked, Fifty Shades of Gray was classified as adult literature — a completely plotless flick. The dozens of Nicholas Sparks novels that still sell are likewise cliché and purely pointless romances, which I still occasionally enjoy simply because they’re cute. Pride and Prejudice, though among my favourite novels, was all tell and no show, and contained less intellectual substance than half the books on the YA shelf nowadays. Brave New World, while critical and intelligent in setting, had an abysmal plot and pathetic characters. Romeo and Juliet featured two 13 year olds who killed themselves because their parents didn’t get along. Talk about weepy teenagers.

In comparison, The Hunger Games series is both an intelligent reflection of the nature of modern entertainment and society, as well as touching, empowering, and meaningful in characterization and plot. The Delirium series presents a heart-wrenching story in a world of people who value intelligence and efficiency over all emotions — a world so afraid of being hurt by feelings that they’re willing to sacrifice the good to avoid the bad. Anyone who has ever been hurt by love, loss, or depression, will know exactly how real that temptation feels. Harry Potter, similarly, drew in millions of readers united by the belief that love is the greatest magic of all.

I find the attack against children’s literature sad and snobbish. “Adults should feel embarrassed about reading literature written for children,” claims Ruth Graham in her recently published article, “I’m a reader who did not weep, contra every article ever written about the book, when I read The Fault in Our Stars. (…) Does this make me heartless? Or does it make me a grown-up? (…) Fellow adults, we are better than this.”

Better than shedding tears and experiencing the most fundamental emotions such as happiness, love, or sadness? Do you always require something ambiguous as adults, something deeper to justify your existence? What shame is there in believing, in loving, in crying? It is these simple things that make us human. For those who claim that such stories are unrealistic or vapid, know that TFIOS was born out of the death of a 16 year old girl to cancer. Know that the novel was written specifically to show cancer patients experiencing these basic human emotions of love, pain, and happiness, enjoying life just as regular people would, undefined by their illness. The Fault in our Stars is a story about love, about humanity, and aims to be overly cheesy and romantic because when you only have a limited time to live, those moments are what make life worth it.

Children’s literature is merely literature with a different purpose. Yes, “the myriad defenders of YA fiction admit that the enjoyment of reading this stuff has to do with escapism, instant gratification, and nostalgia.” What is the matter with that? That’s what it’s meant for, and that purpose is no less important or noble than factual knowledge. Perhaps many adult novels or classics write with the intention of criticizing or analyzing the complexity of human existence, and that’s fascinating. But YA and children’s lit aim not to distinguish the high thinkers from the masses the way Eliot’s poems do; they aim to unite. They aim to embrace everyone, welcome everyone, remind us all of what’s most important, to give light in the darkest of times. There is hope that overcomes fear. There is love that overcomes war. There are “heroes married or dead or happily grasping hands, looking to the future” because that is what life is about when everything is stripped to its core.

I’ve said this before. Life isn’t simple; it’s disappointing and mysterious and complex. It’s painful and it’s a headache. It’s fall, after fall, after fall. But don’t you ever assume that teenagers don’t know that. For those of us who still devour YA or children’s lit, we still choose to believe that getting up is possible against all odds. We find comfort in the victory of good over evil, in the power of a true love’s kiss. We see the darkness in life but we fight for the light. In the pits of anger and fear, what else do have to hold on to in this world than a love like Lily Potter’s for her son? A love like Hazel and Augustus’s? They understood that in their limited time. In life, so many forget the simplest pleasures in their quest to leave a mark on this earth, but “the marks that humans leave are too often scars” (TFIOS). Children and teenagers tread lightly, fearlessly. It is in this lightness that we find peace.

When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.’ (John Green, Looking for Alaska)

I find great pleasure and enlightenment in adult literature, which I admittedly prefer to YA. I love the thought-provoking reflections and beauty of the language, but I find something worthy in everything that I read. I will defend the value of a child’s book until the day I die, because I know I will always come back to it, even if I roll my eyes. I know that given only a few months to live, I would choose to live a “pretentious YA romance” over an analysis of society’s issues. In everyday adult life, we may find confusion and darkness. But in hope and love, we find light.

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. (C.S. Lewis, author of The Chronicles of Narnia)

I hope everyone will reach that day.

Related Articles:

• Why You Should Read Like a Teen Again
• No, You do not have to be ashamed of reading young adult fiction
• In Praise of Reading Whatever the Hell You Want
• Grownups: Don’t be Ashamed of your YA Habit
• Ruth Graham doesn’t go far enough: Adults and kids should only read books aimed directly at their demographic

Happiness, now

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advice, arrival fallacy, carpe diem, future, happiness, Health, john green, lessons, present, self-care, self-love, success, the happiness project, tips

“Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (…) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” (John Green, Looking for Alaska)

Carpe diem. The answer’s been there for thousands of years and still we are all conditioned to always want more. Shoot for the highest, and give up today for tomorrow. At the beginning of the past school year, I made a point of not falling into the arrival fallacy: I would not wait around and leave my future up to time and chance, I was going to go seize it. But in heading out to seize my future, I ironically forgot to seize today. I wore myself so thin this year trying to move forward that I was too exhausted to enjoy what I was doing. It arguably paid off at the end of the year, but not in the moment. In real life, there is no end of the year, no break. There is always more that can be done, and in always striving for more, we are giving up the joys of the present. That is not a sacrifice I am willing to make anymore.

When productivity and happiness start to have an inverse relationship, it’s time to stop. Slow down. I lived in a constant state of high tension this year because I was always on the move. I enjoy being tired at the end of every day but when exhaustion seeps into the beginning, middle, and end of all days, productivity decreases anyway. Regaining calm and balance can come with just ten minutes of rest to refresh. Take them.

Self-Nurturing Activities:

1. Take a warm bath
2. Get a massage
3. Buy yourself flowers
4. Take a walk
5. Visit a zoo
6. Get a haircut/mani/pedi
7. Watch the sunset
8. Relax with a good book
9. Soothing music
10. Watch a funny movie or TV show
11. Dance like nobody’s watching
12. Bake
13. Go to bed early
14. Look at the stars
15. Fix a special meal
16. Call a good friend, or several
17. Go to a new restaurant
18. Go to the beach
19. Go for a drive
20. Meditate
21. Buy new clothes
22. Browse in a book/record store
23. Buy a fluffy stuffed animal
24. Write or journal
25. Spend time with a special person
26. Go to the theatres
27. Go to the park and swing on the swings or climb on the monkey bars
28. Go to a museum or gallery or festival
29. Allow yourself time to dawdle
30. Do a puzzle
31. Do BuzzFeed quizzes
32. Hottub or Jacuzzi
33. Window shop (online works too)
34. Listen to a tape
35. Exercise

A Call for Compassion

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bossy, compassion, cool, emotions, extrovert, feelings, geeks, introvert, john green, leadership, nerdfighteria, nerds, popularity, quiet, sensitivity, susan cain

What is the formula for success? How do we get to the top? In modern day societies worldwide, it feels like power and competition are the only things that matter. Whatever happened to “love makes the world go ’round”? In such an ambitious — even aggressive — environment nowadays, it seems that only the loud and the tough succeed, regardless of their other qualities. Ever since grade school, certain “popular” kids rise up to take charge and others get stepped on. But why is it that being “cool” so often entails passing off our emotions and caring less? This lofty rebel image has been glamourized for decades now in films and television. The sensitive kids, the ones who care too much about school, or about books, are deemed “nerds,” and by extension, inferior and weak. This is the group that is mocked on every TV show and every pop culture movie featuring teenagers. This is the group that little kids dread falling into when they grow up. This is the group that is too thin-skinned to experience the world and step outside the box. As a result, these “geeky” ones who feel too much, the ones who care, are often overlooked, as the bossiest rise to power. (John Green discusses the joy of enthusiasm that so many lack.)

Sensitivity is often associated with weakness in our world, as though one cannot be assertiveness, strong, and feel at the same time. It’s as if real emotions can only be reserved for the most significant life changes, like at funerals or weddings. Otherwise, “conceal, don’t feel, don’t let it show.” (Frozen). People seem to think that intelligence and emotion have an inverse relationship. They really don’t. The brain and the heart aren’t separate entities; they work together, in balance. The problem is that the importance of the mind is so emphasized now and compassion is so overlooked. In the elementary afterschool program that I work at, we give out badges for kindness, and it is sad how few of them are awarded (for the record, this is not a badge that I myself will ever be worthy of). It is unfortunate that a special recognition of kindness is necessary at all, and that especially few boys have ever gotten it.

Suppressing our feelings all the time is pretty much the root of what is wrong in our world. “A 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop having occurred since 2000. (The study’s authors speculate that the decline in empathy is related to the prevalence of social media, reality TV, and “hyper-competitiveness.”)” (Susan Cain, Quiet)

Genuine kindness is so undervalued now, especially in leaders. The tough guise makes it so hard to reach out without being creepy or intrusive. Everyone is expected to deal with their problems alone, to sort all their messes out independently and put on a composed face for the world. Society expects an unwavering mask that makes it impossible for outsiders to know how much an individual really goes through. (“One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.” -Ron Weasley). As social beings who live in tight communities, we have to share not only milestones, but everyday stresses and trivial excitement as well. It is in valuing these little things that the best leaders are born.

My father once told me that I am a much more honest person than my brother; while his tone was respectful and true, it was also pitying and wistful, as though he knew my future wouldn’t be as easy. When people rise to the top, it is so hard to not be corrupted by greed and arrogance along the way. That is why the greatest leaders, like Mandela and Gandhi, are so special. They are rare because they moved mountains with pure hearts, wisdom, and genuine love for all. We need more leaders like them. With all the weight we place now on strength and intelligence in such competitive settings, it is easy to breed bossiness instead of true leadership.

These terms are so far from synonymous and yet, they are being used interchangeably because it’s almost impossible to be kind-hearted, honest, and a strong, respected leader anymore. The amount of competition has rigged it so that success requires being selfish, stepping on others to climb the ladder. In encouraging this kind of ruthless approach, we are only stepping further and further away from any hope of world peace.

It’s time to start reaching out. Look to the less fortunate. Be passionate, and take it all in, then give back. It is in feelings — of concern, of guilt, of love — that a greater world lies.

Boys who don’t like smart girls: Standing against norms

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attraction, equality, equity, feminism, intelligence, john green, male supremacy, relationships, social justice, social rights, women

“Boys don’t like girls who are smart,” my ten-year-old brother came home from school and announced.

And my father, who is well aware that he is married to a woman of equal or greater intelligence and strength, answered, “it’s true.”

Perhaps he was merely acknowledging the fact that this mindset does exist, and felt justified by his marriage to agree with the statement, but it is in these everyday comments that social norms are grounded. By acknowledging them without opposition, we are reinforcing them.

Being the “lesser sex” all throughout history, women were never supposed to challenge men’s intelligence. This imbalance is not nature; this is a social construct. Men did the thinking; women nourished them, their children, and their egos. Men did the looking, and women were only there to appear pretty in their eyes, not to challenge. The acclaimed poet E. E. Cummings wrote, “the best gesture of my brain is less than your eyelids’ flutter.” But fluttering eyelids is not what women have to offer in this century anymore.

In many countries, it is considered shameful for men to make less than their wives. Men are still supposed to be the dominant sex, the breadwinners, the brains and brawn, and are threatened by the reminder that an “inferior being,” a woman, could outsmart them. Although especially prevalent in developing countries, these patriarchal norms are embedded in all cultures and that is the reason why feminism is still necessary. There still exist many outdated men of the first-world who do not like smarter women, because they are self-entitled and unable to confront their own inadequacy. A relationship is about mutual growth, not nourishing egos. Men who do not desire an equal relationship, a partner who challenges them, are behind the times and/or unable to keep up an intelligent conversation.

These norms are founded on everyday schoolyard comments like “boys don’t like smart girls.” Changes are not just brought around by heroes like Martin Luther King or Nellie McClung. Not everyone is a social rights leader, but we are all human. It is our duty to work towards an equitable future, a better future, and countering everyday comments is where this starts. There is no need to start a scene, or get angry; just a simple reply will do. Letting these comments pass unchallenged only reinforces that male supremacy is okay. It is not okay to go around teaching our children this. It is not okay to reinforce what’s wrong.

“The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t want to date is a circle. (…) Nerd girls are the world’s most underutilized romantic resource. And guys, do not tell me that nerd girls are not hot because that shows a Paris Hilton-esque failure to understand hotness.” (The ever amazing John Green)

Naked

Tags

fear, image, insecurity, john green, relationships

“If people could see me the way I see myself — if they could live in my memories — would anyone love me?” John Green (An Abundance of Katherines)

I think the most terrifying thing about any relationship is how vulnerable we feel, not only because of the magnitude of our emotional investment but also because of how much we reveal of ourselves to others.

Everyone has a public face, a carefully constructed image that we polish meticulously. We only post our most flattering pictures, only reveal the confident success stories and best marks and milestones. The way we present our identity is a gold mine of smiles, put-together clothing, and done up hair. How easy it is to be admired and respected when only the tip of the iceberg is shown.

But to be loved? Love is a tangle of messy hair and morning breath. Love is the tears and fears and insecurities that are wrapped under layers of shiny gift paper. The world sees only a colourful wrapping, perhaps an occasional rip or stain. But lovers are witness to every scar, every blemish, every scratch in a sea of gaping pores.

How do you love someone when all the fault lines are laid bare? How can you expect to be loved in return when the shine has dulled, the darkest recesses drawn to the spotlight? It’s so easy to admire from afar, and so terrifying when you lose that cover.

In the end, we are all cracked figures, frayed edges, and peeling paint. No one’s got their shit together.

But in a way, it’s also the most beautiful thing to have that insight and connection with someone if the love still grows. How miraculous is it that we can still be loved for the dustiest parts of our soul?

“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” – John Green

Why do we have to choose one thing to do with our lives?

Tags

hank green, john green, life, malcolm gladwell, outliers, university, vlogbrothers

Introduced in the bestselling book Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell (one of my personal favourite writers), the 10000 hour rule suggests that with 10000 hours of practice, anyone can achieve mastery in any field. Gladwell uses this rule to account for the success of The Beatles, Bill Joy, Bill Gates, and many more icons and multi-billionaires. As brilliant and influential as this theory is, it further promotes the social standard that we all have to choose one single thing to focus on for all of our lives.

As an 18 year old freshman, everyone (yes, literally everyone I talk to) is guaranteed to ask “what are you studying?”, “what are you going into?”, “what are you hoping to pursue career-wise?”. These aren’t negative or unjustified questions; I ask them too. But the fact that everyone is expecting to hear a single specific answer is an unfortunate societal norm. Everyone is so intent on pursuing their one goal, their one dream job or position. Specialize, get your 10000 hours, be rich and successful.

When asked, I typically answer “humanities”, and receive a response along the lines of “oh… so what exactly…?”, to which I answer “like media or writing? I’d like to be a writer” to which I will receive a sympathetic look in response, or a comment like “oh! So you’re gonna be working at Starbucks! ‘Cause you know, BA stands for Barista!”

The thing is, I love working at coffee shops. In fact, if I had to pick one thing to do for the rest of my life, it would probably be to run a bakery/cafe/library place. But I don’t see the value of focusing on one thing (i.e. business, culinary arts, etc.) when I am interested and passionate about so much (i.e. literature, film, psychology, etc.). I’ve always done a variety of activities on the side, and I don’t think it’s necessary to give up all of them in favour of one career. Similarly, I don’t think I should feel obliged to restrict myself to a single program that will lead me to a steady income source. “You don’t go to university to get a career; you go to get an education.” (Gillian Findlay, CBC)

It’s a different matter if you’re certain of what you would like to do for the rest of your life (that’s great!), and I’m not implying that anything is set in stone because statistically, the majority of people do change careers and go back to school. I’m implying that it is possible, and should be more acceptable, to be a jack of all (or multiple) trades. It may be more time-consuming, more demanding, less stable, less successful in one area, and less fruitful, but personally I would trade that for a bit more excitement, more passion, and wider knowledge. Life is all about how much we experience.

For example, Hank Green (age 33, married), is an “entrepreneur, musician, and vlogger.” He regularly uploads videos on the YouTube channel Vlogbrothers (with brother, John Green, vlogger and best-selling author featured in video above). Hank is also the (co-)creator of VidCon (annual video conference), The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, EcoGeek (online environmental technology blog), Subbable, Crash Course, Sci-Show, The Brain Scoop, Sexplanations, Project for Awesome, and inventor of 2D glasses; he is also a published author, and has released multiple records.

Not everyone can juggle this kind of lifestyle, nor would many want to. But whenever I get worked up over choosing what I want to do with my life, and people tell me “it’s alright; you’re young so you have time to decide,” it helps to remember that we are never closed in, no matter our age. There are always options, and although everything comes with some sacrifice, there are always ways to continue doing whatever we love.