This is a response to Thought Catalog’s 18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With.
The above post made me very sad because unfortunately, I realize that many points are valid complaints, and very prevalent. Too, too often, I’ll hear stories of relationships falling apart, or even worse — ongoing relationships that are filled with unhappiness, conflict, and headaches. I know girls who “aren’t allowed” to go out with their friends or stay out past some point in the evening because their boyfriends are too possessive to “let them” (yes, in North American society!). I know guys who complain incessantly about how their girlfriends expect them to pay for everything and pick fights if they don’t. People are so scared of being alone now because human connection has significantly decreased with the increased use of social media; couples are willing to stay together through physical and emotional abuse, cheating, and total lack of connection. This has led to such a big drop in hope of love for so many, and this saddens me immensely because a good relationship can be the most beautiful thing that a human ever experiences. It has taken me this year to understand how incredibly lucky I am, and how difficult it is for so many. Love doesn’t just happen, but it’s out there, I promise.
I cannot individually refute the points this article makes because unfortunately, they are true for the majority. However, I can do this:
18 Truths About My Relationship
- This relationship has allowed me, for the first time in my life, to feel comfortable with caring. Just caring with all my heart, no more or less.
- We have never ever, in over two years, played the ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ game.
- We both have many close friends of the opposite sex.
- We are completely comfortable talking on the phone and often do so when one is having a bad night, or when delivering important news.
- We plan dates (live shows, dinner, movies, etc.) well ahead of time and both recognize them as a top priority once it goes in the calendar.
- We have written each other Shakespeareian letters of love over text; text can be as personal or as impersonal as the user chooses.
- My boyfriend asked me to prom by underlining letters in my favourite passage of my favourite book (Snape’s “Always” in HP-DH)
- After-prom 2012, we watched Shrek. After-prom 2013, we watched Up.
- Before I was in this relationship, everyone told me that I needed to lower my expectations. I never did, and they were still exceeded.
- We have never relied on each other as a saviour, because “you can’t save people; you can only love them.” (A.N.)
- After we kissed, there was absolutely zero doubt that we were in an exclusive relationship and that didn’t even need to be discussed.
- I have never once worried about being cheated on.
- Yes, I have found many other guys attractive and great to talk to, however, I have never once been the slightest bit tempted to step outside of my relationship.
- We started talking on a random walk home from school when I pretty much told him my entire life story.
- My partner is the first guy I’ve liked whom I’ve not envisioned myself marrying. Being in this relationship has taught me the value of appreciating and living in the present.
- Personal issues have never ever been publicized on any form of social media. We were not “Facebook official” until 1.5 years in.
- Every important conversation and every time we’ve been on the verge of a break up, we have met up in person to talk things out. One hug has been enough to resolve every conflict we have ever had.
- It has been over two years. We are still excited to see each other at every chance we get.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. My relationship has been blessed, enlightening, and easy. Not every part was easy, but the majority has been. It has provided me with comfort and stability, and it has helped me grow and learn about myself, life, and the world. I’ve never felt like I had to give up any part of myself. I realize how fortunate I’ve been and I understand that not everyone gets this chance, especially not so early in life. But I wrote this in the hopes that it will give someone else hope — hope of love, hope of trust, and hope that a good, true relationship is really out there. When we first started dating, I had people come up to me and tell me that we wouldn’t last two months. We have surprised everyone, even and especially ourselves. So don’t give up. Don’t settle. Always love, and always, always believe.